Episode 63: Breaking Down Goals

Because there’s nothing magical about January 1st, this week Phylicia and I are discussing our goals and words of the year. We also talk about how we arrived at our words and how we break down our goals into practical steps.

  1. Words of the year: Phylicia chose Settle and Lisa picked Make.
  2. How we arrived at our goals.
  3. How we make goals happen.
    • Visual reminders
    • Make to-do lists from goals

How to Grow into Your Style

Recently I’ve realized that I’m growing into my decorating style. I’m also growing into a clothing style and I’m growing into a lot of things that I’ve been working on: things like what I like to draw and how, handlettering, even crafty things. I’m never going to arrive. The nice (and frustrating) thing about life is that we should always be growing, tweaking, changing.

We have more natural talent in some things. We have an idea of what looks good or is appealing. We don’t know why something works but we just know that it does. But even those natural skills need sharpened. There’s that famous Ira Glass quote about the gap that you have when you first start doing things. You’re just not quite there.

I’m still not there but I’ve seen my style evolved as the years have passed and I’ve realized part of it has been giving it time. But not just blank time. You can’t sit around staring at the wall and grow.

2017 Goals + Word of the Year

I didn’t actually decide on a word for 2017 until New Year’s Eve and I was starting to get nervous because I had considered and tossed out a lot of ideas. But after voxing Phylicia with my concerns over not having a word, I was listening to a podcast and decided that my word is MAKE. I want to actually make things, not pinboards and castles in the sky, actual work in my home and in my life. I’m going to make breakfast and dinner. I’m going to make a home. I’m going to make memories and art and stories. I’m going to make music and lesson plans. I’m going to make space for other people and time for things that really matter. I want my hands in the work that God has given me.  

This is the first year that I’ve tried to be respectful of my season when I was setting goals. I actually took a good look at where I am and what this season requires of me before I decided what I could work on or what I needed to work on.

This is key to goal-setting. The best sounding goals in the world will do nothing for you if they aren’t rooted in your reality. If you aren’t evaluating where God has put you and what He has given you to do, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Goals really aren’t about making a better you; they are about stewarding well what God has given you. (Thank you, Lara Casey, for that tidbit.)

The Comparison Trap in Marriage

I really have gotten better at the brutal game of comparison with other women. I don’t handle it perfectly but it no longer consumes me as it has in the past. But recently I’ve found myself wrestling with another art of comparison that I thought I left behind long ago.

My husband had the week between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day off. It made for some great memories, a few magical moments, and other moments when I wished for bedtime and a normal routine.

When he went back to work, I found myself suddenly the only adult to whom the children could offer their requests. Three people constantly plying, and often whining (we’re working on it), about the things they wanted, needed, or injustices that were being done.

My response was irritation at my husband whose life I had suddenly decided was much easier than mine. After all, he can go to the bathroom in quiet, whenever he likes. He can leave work and come home to eat lunch, or stay at work in the conference room ordering lunch in like an adult, or leave and run out to get fast food. No buckling other people in car seats or telling children not to fight while they wait on their turn to walk out the door.

Episode 62: Insecurity and Female Relationships

To start off the New Year Phylicia and I are discussing how to deal with personal insecurities when interacting with other females. There’s nothing like a talented, beautiful acquaintance to remind us of all the things that we aren’t. But we don’t have to live there. Listen in for four tips on interacting with other women.

  1. Be a “there you are” person.
  2. Don’t worry if other people like you; concern yourself only with honoring God.
  3. Other people don’t think about you as often as you think.
  4. Be interested, not interesting.

How To Approach the New Year: Happy 2017

Sometime in November I mentioned to a friend that I was breaking up with 2016. It’s been an interesting, in many ways difficult, year. And yet, when I stopped a few evenings ago and really thought back over the year, all I saw was the goodness of God blanketing every hard thing. I’m learning this year to hold two opposing emotions about the same event. I’m glad to close the door on 2016 for many reasons but as I thought this through I realized something.

Nothing really changes when that ball drops at midnight on January 1st. It’s not magic. Life isn’t suddenly different. I’m not even suddenly different. Some of the difficult parts of 2016 won’t cease to be when the calendar changes to 2017; they will continue and new hard things will arise.

Now I love a new year as much as anyone. I’ve been working on goals for 2017 and I’m excited for what’s upcoming. But it doesn’t mean that suddenly everything will be rosy and all-worked-out like I would prefer.