No more “just”

“I’m just five foot ten.”

“I’ve just got four kids.”

I’ve said both of these sentences in the past week and a half. In both cases minimizing what is present by comparing it to some imaginary larger or better something. I’m not six foot, just five foot ten. I don’t have five kids, just four.

Why must either of those be comparative? It’s perfectly fine that I’m five foot ten and have four kids. It’s not a lack or a liability. Maybe I’m hoping to not disappoint people or to minimize a critical comment by having criticized myself first. Probably several reasons mix together to call up this comment.

In both cases, I recognized immediately what I had said and actually drew attention to it for the sake of calling it out as ridiculous. The occasions have sparked a lot of reflection and I realized that I do this in my mind frequently. I’m just getting my MDiv (and not a PhD). I just work part-time (not full-time). I just write on the internet (not published).

No more. I’ve decided I’m not allowed to just any of my life anymore. I get to appreciate it for what it is and live it as it is.

*Other words work here too. Only, for example.